Happy with my decisions

Recently I have been going through a tough break up. I ask myself constantly why if this was my decision is it so hard. I have finally come up with a few answer while I am still searching for the rest. I am not ready to let go of the relationship, but I realize that it is not good for me. It needs change and only I can change my part. I have been reading, praying, and relying on my friends and even Roy to help me through this. I have burden my friends an fair amount and for that I am sorry. I have tried to cut off all ties with Roy but I just can't seem to do it. I feel better when I have talked to him whether we are getting along or not. I am still standing up for what I want and what I need in life. That is a huge step for me. I have reached out to a professional to help me heal and build myself back up. I start seeing her on Tuesday and I am scared but hopeful. I have been needing some help figureing out me for a long time even without the recent relationship problems.

Now this next part will probably bother some of you close to me but it's how I feel. All I can do is hope you have as much confidence and faith in me as I do about this decision.


I still have hope for Roy and I...someday. Yes this would require a lot of change on both our parts and I know I can only make changes and better myself. I do hope that he can do his part grow up and be the man I deserve. I will not sit by and make him do it but I will stand tall working on myself and hope that he is doing the same. I love him and want the best for him. I am learning that I have to love me and want whats best for me even more whether it works out for us or not. But I am young and have lots of life left so there is always a possibility that someday it will be. For now I am still talking to him, we both have care and concern for one another but we cannot be together at this time. I am feeling very confident about my decision and looking forward to being a better me.

Letting out a big sigh and moving forward.